Given to Fly - The First Time I found My Angel Wings

"Given to Fly" is a beautiful song by Pearl Jam that you'll find a video  of at the end of this post. To me the song resonates as the freedom from the constraints that as humans we have built around ourselves and through adversity we realise that we are limitless beings of love we can truly fly. That's just my take on it, as with a lot of songs they have different meanings to different people and that's the beauty of art - it makes us feel.

I feel my wings. They sit between my shoulder blades.  When I feel a tight knot I am reminded that I need to shake out my wings and let them extend - it feels so powerful and helps me connect to the essence of my magnificence. It mind sound cooky to you but give this a try! I stand, centre myself, then shake and roll my shoulders, stretching and rounding my shoulders, then open my arms wide to spreads my wings. I will close my eyes put my face to the sky, breathe deeply, smile and slowly float my arms up and down until I feel that my wings are free! Go on try it!!!

I remember the moment my wings were delivered. It was beautiful, amazing, bittersweet and it changed my life forever.

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When I was in school there was this beautiful girl with long legs (up to the sky I used to say), big lips, big smile, long wild hair, her name was Kirsty. I'd call her Kay Ray. Every time I think of her I imagine her smile and I can sometimes even still smell her and picture her hands and fingers and eyelashes. It's funny what we remember isn't it? We were friends throughout high school, sometimes not friends, as sadly, girls can be unsure and bitchy at times. She even dated my older brother for a while - totally weird!

It was our first year out of school and we were both at the same University along with some of our other friends from school, the world was our oyster we were so excited to be "all grown up" at least that's what we thought - we were 17.

One night, it was a Thursday, Kay Ray, Jane (love you sister) and I went out to a nightclub. I was shit scared and really excited as I hadn't been to many nightclubs obviously as I was under-age, but I'd never been to this club and it was the one where all the cool kids went. It was all a bit naughty and risky and for me it was kind of liberating, like I wasn't a little girl anymore.

Jane decided to leave early as I don't think she wasn't really enjoying herself that night and so Kirsty and I stayed on for a bit longer.

Wrong guy
Wrong time
Wrong car
Wrong choice.

In an instant I lost my childhood innocence, my naïve notion of being invincible, I nearly lost my life, I also lost my friend - Kirsty.

She was gone
I was still here
The grief
The guilt
Consumed me.

I hadn't caused the accident but I didn't die, she did and I felt so guilty about that. Survivors guilt the counsellors told me.

The first time she came to me I was sitting in my room wearing some of her clothes that her mum had given me and I could smell her on those clothes and I was being blinded by tears and my chest was caving in and I found myself begging for her forgiveness

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"

A soft breeze came through the curtains of a closed window and caressed my head and wrapped itself around me and held me.

She would keep coming to me in my dreams throughout the years guiding me through my grief and also guiding me through other events in my life that were causing me pain. I was so grateful for it, I loved her more in death than in life.

The first time I was attuned to Reiki level one was a total life changing event for me - that was the moment I found my wings.
 
I was Given to Fly.

As the beautiful energy of Reiki entered my soul it opened a doorway into a dimension I had forgotten

And there was Kay Ray - she took me flying.

We flew high above a valley of tree tops, I could feel the wind rushing past us , through the feathers in my wings and the freedom and beauty of it all was breathtaking and exquisite.

She led the way and I could see her wings and  her hair flying in the wind as we dipped and soared. Then she turned her face back to me and with a smile gave me this message...

"Please don't worry about me, I am fine, this is where I live now, I love you."

In that instant I released my guilt and I awakened the knowledge within me that life and love is eternal. 

We are limitless beings having a human experience of life on earth. 

Namaste gorgeous ones xxx

Here is a video of the song Given to Fly by Pearl Jam and it's a live concert performance with a lady doing sign language to the song - I just love it. Please enjoy lovebeams.

PS - Eddie you are an earth angel xx