If I don't Love Myself First, Then the Whole Show is F****d!

Are you tired of not feeling good enough?

Are you sick of being last on the list?

Are you asking yourself "What about me? Where have I gone?"

Are you feeling spiritually bankrupt?

As a woman it's in your nature and it is part of your feminine essence to love, support, nurture and care for others. You are always giving. But what about receiving? That is part of your feminine essence too. When is the last time you received love and support? When is the last time YOU put yourself first?

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Reclaim Your LIFE!

Here's a really important message.... it starts with YOU.

It's all about SELF-care, self-LOVE.

Seems like a strange concept doesn't it? I know!   

I mean, I really know. I've been there too.

I was completely disillusioned with my life.

- As a mother raising three kids, one with Autism, feeling as though all I did was yell at them.  
- Working in a job I hated, where workplace bullying had me doubting everything about myself and questioning basic human kindness.
- Disconnected from my husband (who was dealing with his own level of stress and misery) wondering where our marriage was going. 
- Shit sex-life.
- Feeling fat and frumpy. 
- Under financial pressure.
- Unable to reach out to my friends because I felt embarrassed and ashamed while at the same time wondering if I even had any real friends.

So yeah, I was pretty miserable!

Now, I have always had a great ability to reflect on my life and see things from afar but the problem was that I had been doing that with a whole set of "stories" in my head about how I wasn't good enough, how I needed to change things about myself - be more like other people I admired and seemed like they had their shit together, you know, THOSE stories!  They make you feel WORSE and you find all of the things in your life that prove these stories are true!!!

In fact what you are doing is inviting those situations into your life, attracting them in until you actually WAKE UP to the realisation that they are just stories you have constructed to keep you playing small and stop you claiming your own power, your own worth, your own awesomeness!

The truth is, that there is nothing wrong with you.

Nothing to fix.
Nothing to change.
Nothing to make better.

Oh my, the amount of times I started on a "new and improved way of living". Ugghhh, it was awful, I was always extreme, determined to "get it right". I found myself putting my husband (much to his horror) and I on a 14 day juice fast or a 10 day soup diet; I would make radical and complicated changes to the kids routines with charts and stickers; we even sold our house, bought a caravan and travelled around Australia for 6 months to find a better place to live!!!

None of it worked.

The diets, the sticker charts - they didn't last and they just made it worse because there was yet again another thing we had "failed at" (not good enough!)

The idyllic notion of being free from all of the shit parts of our lives by dragging the family around in a caravan trying to find the promised land was definitely not ideal - it was far from it! It only served to condense all of the hard bits and shove it right up our noses, there was nowhere to hide in a caravan with 5 of us struggling to "have fun". I still remember so vividly the moment I said to my husband "This is not working, I think we should go home", it was gut-wrenching and we both felt like the biggest failures ever.

So we came back and I started working in a local hospital; we were again approaching life with new enthusiasm and a sense of "going to get it right this time". Well I stepped out of the frying pan and into the fire!

This was the time I hit rock bottom, I thought I had been there before, but this was different.

Why? Because I lost all hope, I lost faith in life and I no longer had belief in myself. If you've ever been subject to workplace bullying, you'll understand how soul-destroying it can be. I was attacked mentally, emotionally, professionally, personally, energetically and at one point almost physically.

I had no idea how to "fix it" how to "fix me" because surely that's what I had to do right? I tried changing careers to become an Autism Advocate because I was good at the autism thing wasn't I? At least that's what others told me. Guess what? Didn't work. My own autistic son struggled more than ever as I focussed on trying to support other families living with Autism. Well how about taking care of your own Peta? Great, then I felt like the worst mother in the world!!!

So you know what I did?

I gave up trying so fucking hard.

I just sat with my shit and watched it for a while.

I began going back to what I had done earlier in my life. I turned to myself for guidance, I went inward to connect with ME again.

I went on a Soul Journey.

I got soul deep and found all of my own inner knowledge.

I picked up the tools I had learned along the way and began to use them, I started to walk my walk and talk my talk - I mean really LIVE it.

Together with some awesome healers and mentors I found myself -  the real me, the authentic beautiful radiant loving being that I have always been and I will always be.

For a while there I had lost her, I'm so thankful to have her back, to have me back bigger and brighter and shinier than ever! 

Something I realised that was a huge turning point was that it starts with me.

If I don't love myself first then the whole show is fucked!

In Tanya Paluso's book "Open Your Heart - The Guide For Being A New Generation Feminine Leader" she talks about the 4 R's as a starting point to owning your power:

Self-Reliance

Self-Responsibility

Self-Respect

Self-Reflection

These four guiding principles in life are what I ascribe to as a lifelong practice.
 
At this point I'd like to say that my life is not shit, nor is it miserable and we had some fantastic fun in our tin-can-on-wheels seeing the sights of Australia.

I have embraced motherhood;

I'm doing my dream job helping others;

My marriage has reached a whole new level of love, respect and commitment; 

My sex life is ah-mazing, I am so much more connected and in-tune with my body, more freely able to express myself and be creative.

I am fit, healthy and as I approach 40 (writing this, my birthday is only 5 weeks away!!) I am looking and feeling the best I have in my whole life! No joke, I am in love with my body and I am an absolutely gorgeous woman inside and out.

My relationship with money is now free from guilt and I am living from a place of abundance.

The friends I have, both new and old, are sisters in my life that love and support me as I do them.   

I have a new perspective on life. That's the thing I've changed - my perspective. My thought, my word - it creates my world.

And I'm in LOVE with my world!!!!

So what about you?

How is your world?

Have you connected with the real you lately?What is it that your soul wants you to know?

If you are ready to Reclaim Your Life then let's get our souls together for some truth talking hey? I am your mirror, you are mine, I'll get real with you, I'll be vulnerable with you, I'll support you to find the answer within.

In allowing yourselves to peel back the layers through truth talking, I mean being really honest you can connect with your feminine power.

Sister, I see you.

Let's journey together.

Take the step to create the life you want, put yourself first on the list...

Email me for a free activation call or check out my signature course Leaning into Leadership, after all you are the CEO of your own life, so take a step towards empowering yourself now.